You think you’re chasing jackpots? Nah. You’re just self-medicating with binomial probability and golden symbols that whisper ‘I’m not luck—I’m disciplined.’ I spent 3 years decoding reels while sipping chamomber tea in my Brooklyn closet. Free spins? That’s not magic—it’s your therapist’s homework. $14.20/spin? I’d call that ROI… or my rent payment.

So… what’s your RTP today? And why are you still playing when your bankroll’s crying?